


Breaking Points

by be11amy



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Slavery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-07-24 01:13:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16170581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/be11amy/pseuds/be11amy
Summary: Pink Diamond never needed a weapon to break a gem, and it has taken thirteen years and Rose's death for Pearl to realize that she's long-since cracked under the pressure.





	Breaking Points

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this right after A Single Pale Rose was released, so it spoils that episode but is not quite compliant with the ones that follow.

When Steven comes back, he comes without Bismuth, and he is holding something small and pale-pink in his hands. When he looks up at you, at Garnet and Amethyst, you realize he’s come with Bismuth after all - Bismuth, and a new weight to his shoulders that isn’t released as lightly as the pink bubble he forms floats to the ceiling to join its sisters.

He tells you of something called a Breaking Point. A machine, a weapon so powerful that it can shatter any gem that you put it to. Rose Quartz had fought Bismuth over it, and won, and stored the weapon away where nobody but her would know of it. The story, though you’ve never heard it before, feels somehow familiar.

Steven had thrown the weapon into the simmering molten core of the forge, destroying it. That part, you’re certain, is absolutely new to you. You haven’t known Rose to be the sort of person that throws away her assets.

At least not until she had Steven, you suppose.

Looking up at Bismuth, spinning slowly in her bubble, you think that some gems have their own breaking points, and need nothing as material as a weapon to reach them. Then you tuck away another secret of Rose’s in the corner of your heart, and turn away. In the end, you are stronger than Bismuth, and you loved Rose more, and you stayed loyal by her side and to her convictions.

You are not always so sure of your  _ own _ convictions, but Rose’s love keeps strong for you. She never pushed you beyond your limits, after all. When you can’t keep yourself strong, she gives you an out, and your throat closes up before you can break. When you can’t keep yourself true, your hands reach up to cover your mouth, your tongue turns leaden behind your lips, and you breathe through your nose, slowly, as Garnet pleads with Steven -

_ “You’re making Pearl very upset.” _

_ He’s not _ , you want to tell them, but what follows that thought just tightens your throat further, and you squeeze your eyes shut until he’s run out of the house. By the time you open them, you’ve slid to the floor, crouching, and Garnet’s hand is smoothing across your back.

Maybe you  _ are _ upset. You get upset a lot, about Rose - her being gone, her loving Greg more than she loved you, her slowly leaving you behind even while she was still alive. It wasn’t fair, her doing that. Not when she knew what you are - what you were  _ made _ for. But you suppose that that is why she did it. You were content to follow her wishes, and she wanted to search for love truer, more genuine than a pearl’s.

But it’s easy enough to forget when Bismuth throws you into the air and asks whose Pearl you are. When you’re surrounded by the Crystal Gems - Garnet, Amethyst, Bismuth, even Peridot and Lapis Lazuli - then _ that _ is what you are. Rose is dead, and you belong to nobody.

You give Bismuth the same answer as you did millennia ago, but it doesn’t ring any truer now than it did then. If it was true, you would be able to tell Steven what he deserves to know.

You would be able to tell him that Rose’s touch leaves lasting marks. She’s been dead for thirteen years, and you still can’t speak of something that happened millennia ago. She’s been Rose Quartz for millennia, and yet Pink Diamond’s zoo still lives on. You didn’t think that anybody would bother maintaining it - but if anybody loved Pink Diamond as much as you did, then it was Blue.

The love between diamonds is not like the love between a diamond and her pearl. Blue loved Pink Diamond like an equal. Like a little sister, even, to borrow a human term. Pink Diamond loved you like she loved her human zoo. With great care and dedication, and so strongly that she just couldn’t let it go. And here you are now, thirteen years since the last time you saw her, and her hands pressing over your mouth as firmly as ever.

Your own hands, too, as Steven exclaims the words you’ve yearned to spit out for years, and you still can’t say anything as tears bead in your eyes.

“I wanted to tell you for  _ so long _ ,” you plead quietly, half-rasped as your teeth finally unclench. There’s an ache in your jaw, from pressing it shut so long. Anything more you want to say, then, is drowned out when Amethyst screeches.

Steven whirls around to her, stumbling two steps into Garnet’s arms, which wrap around him automatically.

“Mom was Pink Diamond!” he proclaims, and now you aren’t the only one with tears in your eyes. “Did you know? Did  _ all _ of you know? Why didn’t you  _ tell _ me?”

Garnet is silent, staring at you in what you’re certain must be horror, hidden behind her visor, or maybe disgust. You half-expect to meet Sapphire and Ruby, soon, and she shakes for a moment - but then Steven sniffs, and she pulls herself together.

Amethyst shuffles over to Steven, too, standing half-behind him as she glances back at you uncertainly.

“We didn’t know, Steven,” Garnet says, and smooths her fingers through the tangles of his hair. You brushed it, this morning, after he rolled out of bed without having bothered to do so himself. It’s got snarls in it already, windblown and sandy from his time on the beach.

“Only Pearl knew,” Garnet finishes, and now everybody is looking at you.

You choke up a little, and this time it’s just from tears. You shake your head in denial, wrapping your hands around your elbows. “I wanted to tell you,” you repeat, “I wished I could tell you!”

“But you couldn’t,” Garnet murmurs, and Amethyst exclaims, “Well, why  _ not?! _ ”

You shake your head, winding your fingers together in a prim clasp over your knees, and stare down. There’s a little shard that you missed when you were vacuuming, broken from the corner of your phone screen when you had dropped it earlier. In the light of the setting sun and through the tears swimming in your eyes, it almost looks pink.

“Mom told her not to,” Steven says eventually, scrubbing his hand across his eyes. He lets go of Garnet, taking a step back and squaring his shoulders. “She said... Pearl should pretend to be Mom, and Mom turned into Pink Diamond, and Pearl poofed her! Except - she ate these pink gem pieces, so when she poofed it looked like she got shattered!”

“I wanted to tell you,” you repeat, and you can’t seem to figure out how to say anything else. Everything else you want to say is leaving you choked up, for one reason or another.

And you’re afraid, really. Of what Garnet and Amethyst will think of you now, the traitor that lied to them about  _ everything _ . Oh, but Pink always knew best, when she was alive, but how could she have ever predicted this? Predicted  _ Steven? _ And now you’ve let it all out, and everyone is going to be very upset with you.

You never truly spoke of what happened, but you imagine that Pink Diamond would be very cross with you right now anyways. Or worse -  _ disappointed _ .

“And Pearl couldn’t tell us?” Garnet echoes, and you blink, displacing the tears from your eyes and causing them to drop to your lap, to run down your nose.

You can’t hide your gaze for long, though, and before you know it, footsteps thud across the floor as Amethyst jumps onto your stool and flings her arms around you. Garnet follows, less chaotically, and Steven, confused but enthusiastic, wraps himself around your legs in a hug.

“What-?” you squeak, and Garnet shakes her head.

“Rose is gone,” she says, “And you’re still here. And you two always said you were free, that you didn’t belong to anyone.”

Your cheeks flush teal, and you don’t know why. You have nothing to be ashamed of! You stood at the side of Rose Quartz willingly, fought for your freedom and the freedom of countless other gems.

“I  _ do _ belong to no-one,” you insist, and Amethyst scoffs, dropping down to the floor.

“Yeah?” she asks, “Then why didn’t you tell us who Rose really was?”

You clap your hands over your mouth, muffling the sound that you make next before you can even think about it, and Garnet shushes Amethyst sharply.

“Don’t be cruel, Amethyst,” she says and steps back, leaving an arm on your shoulder. Steven stays, leaning into your knees as he stares up at you, looking for something. You don’t have anything else to give him, and you glance away.

“I  _ do _ ,” you whisper, “She just-”

“She called you  _ her _ pearl,” Garnet reminds you, and your cheeks heat further. Amethyst makes a face.

“I always thought that was just you guys being, like,  _ mushy _ ,” she says, and sticks out her tongue, and -

You think back to breaking points, and how Bismuth had reached hers. It didn’t take a drill, or a sword, or a weapon to her gem to break Bismuth. No, it only took Rose Quartz. It only took Pink Diamond.

_ She never needed weapon to break another gem _ , you think, and something that has been wound tight behind the hard light of your ribs for millennia finally snaps, breaks, shatters into too many pieces to pick back up and tape back together.

You’ve cried countless tears for your diamond. This time, you cry for yourself.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
